This is not a love story. It is a story about love.
No, just kidding, it's a love story too. I was just thinking about that movie.
In any case, here is how it goes:
Once upon a time, there was a little girl. And she was me. And I always, ALWAYS wanted a pair of lederhosen very dearly. Well, when I found out that I was going to Germany to be an exchange student for a year, after I was done prancing around and screaming and giving everybody a high five, my amazing pseudo-godfather Brian Kubarycz reminded me: Germany = lederhosen! I will surely find some while I am there! So the whole year, I kept my eyeballs peeled for a pair. Here were my requirements:
2: Leather, but vintage (otherwise I'd be a bad vegetarian, right?)
3: My size (easier said than done)
4: I think that's all
In any case, despite all my poking around, I didn't find any until February, and ironically, they were not in Germany. They were in perhaps the most wonderful city in the world, which is to say Vienna. I was in the bus on the way to the Hundertwasserhaus (which is amazing) and I saw, in a thrift store window, a most wondrous pair. It was love at first sight. They were adorable and just my size, though they could not promise to flatter, nobody's perfect, you know? In any case, I made a snap judgement and got out at the next stop. To my delight, the Hundertwasserhaus was just a block from the store. I popped in, grabbed the Hosen, paid my twenty euros, and still had time to see the Haus as well.
So, you might be thinking, wtf is with that other guy in the lederhosen?
I meant to mislead you, make you think I was in love with that guy. I'm actually in love with the lederhosen.
In any case, it was Fasching, which is like... Mardi Gras? Karneval? It's the holiday right before Lent where everybody sins a lot because God isn't watching. Also, everybody wears crazy costumes. I wore the Lederhosen and my wonderful tiger ears and went as the "Queen of the Austrian Cats" (don't worry, everyone was too drunk to realize that's not a real thing). Then I saw yet another man in lederhosen!! Gosh, what a surprise! So I went up to him and said, "Wir sind Zwillinge! Machen sie ein Bild mit mir?" (we're twins! will you take a picture with me?) and he said "Jawohl!!" and, in a very unexpected manner, picked me up for the photo. It was a glorious moment. If somebody asked for a photo that described the exchange student experience in Germany, I would for sure show them this one. It's just like that picture.